I often find myself in these little “writer ruts” because there is so much that I want to share, but somehow cannot manage to get it all out — either in conversation or in writing or in processing, but I’ll try my best in this email.

p.s. I’ll send another email out soon, this is mainly from Feb-April

We can learn a lot from babies. They are so simple. Sometimes all they need is a new diaper, a warm bottle, some kisses + snuggles, a song, and a nap. I need that.

1 Peter 2:25 —“For you were like sheep being led astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

Let me also preface by saying, I’m so tired. So tired and exhausted in every way, and having a hard time, so please feel free to call me, text me, or send me a hand-written letter in the mail with encouragement, or if you’re nearby, please hug me. I really need a hug. I can’t really or fully explain how or why or what hurts, but I just know everyday feels like a rollercoaster, and like I’ve been body-slammed. God is touching more things in me and in my soul than ever before and all my natural strength, zeal, goodness, and even love (for Him and others) is running out (I’m still holding on LOL, but learning to let go), and all my future plans are changing. I also have been really overwhelmed because I have SO many unread texts (sorry if I haven’t replied), and I don’t know how to answer the question, “How are you?” anymore.

But it’s been a term of returning (or, rather re-turning) again and again and again. Finding the Lord, holding onto Him, and not letting Him go. Falling on my face and having the courage to get up again, saying the wrong thing and apologizing and sometimes not, being tired and just taking the much needed rest (which, if you know me, you know this is hard for me). This year (and these past few months) have been filled with really high highs, really low lows, and just about everything in-between. My soul has been a VERY busy place — think a coffee shop/cafe or the highway that you avoid because you know that it’s too busy.

I’m learning that deciding to follow Jesus is a daily matter. Every single day, I have to decide to turn my heart to Him (2 Corinthians 3:16-18), to pray, include and involve Him in all things. Every single day.

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 — “But whenever their heart turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. And the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. But we all with unveiled face, beholding and reflecting like a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, even as from the Lord Spirit.”

Yes, my life is for Him, but that also must include my today, my present. My today includes what I eat, where I am, where I go, who I talk to, what socks I wear, and even how long I brush my teeth. He’s there and He cares. Everyday, my new and fresh love is required.

It’s like frying something in oil — there is no old oil that can be used here. Haha, you could say that everyday (most times, multiple times a day) we need an oil change (maybe that will be the title). // Wow — the miles we drive in our minds apart from Him…Jesus have mercy. // We need to, like in Matthew 25:1-13, be like the wise virgins who paid the price to buy the oil for their lamps. So even on your hard days, please remember (Elona, you too) that you have to buy the oil because you been called for such a time as this — not to do something for God or to try to make Him more proud of you. He just wants you to love Him. Your love for Him is enough, it pays the bills. Love is the only requirement, the only currency accepted. There’s nothing that He desires other than our love.

So stop. Stop your doing, wanting to be, your not being, being, trying to fix yourself, and just tell Him that You love Him. Seriously. He’s simplifying us to love.

Matthew 25:1 —“At that time the kingdom of the heavens will be likened to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went forth to meet the bridegroom.”

Esther 4:14 — “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Mark 12:30 — “And you shall love the Lord your God from your whole heart and from your whole soul and from your whole mind and from your whole strength."

For your ♥️: He’s the Dad that shows up to your game and cheers you on even if you’re on the bench the whole game, the One who buys your whole box of World’s Finest Chocolate for your school fundraiser, and the Friend who loves talking to you and never gets tired.

“If I sit here long enough, He’s Daddy enough to find me. There’s no collection of words, there’s no rhythm of talking that would influence Him anymore than He’s already influenced about me,” — Song: ⛓️‍💥: Leon Timbo, Get the Glory (timestamp: 7:23)

some joys + updates from mid February - end of April w/ pictures:

1. I’m on a new team this term! I switched from a college campus team to the community team. The community team involves door-knocking, sharing the gospel in parks, passing out free Bibles, and visiting new and old friends.

   

2. My high school bestie got married in February, and I was her maid of honor 🥺 — so crazy that these days are already happening! Love you mucho, mi amiga bonita!

3. The sistas that I live with took a weekend trip to San Diego!

4. My birthday was almost 2 months ago, and no one really knew, and it felt cool having a little secret…until halfway through the day, and then I got really sad and cried…but then I saw Mimi w/ a bundt cake (& got a bday card sent from Glori all the way from Georgia (which now lives in my journal)), yay hbd to me🫂

   

5. My friends came to visit from Austin, Texas! This has been one of my top tier moments of my time here, and it felt like I could breathe again. Miss y’all so much.

6. I took myself to a pottery class, and it was so good + needed (Romans 9:21-23)🍶

7. If I am learning anything, it’s to give up faster — and to sink in Jesus. To drown. Cry it out and talk to Him. I went home early last week because I just found myself pushing through the day with a headache, confused emotions, overstimulated, sleep deprived, and dehydrated. I got home, cried on a shoulder of a friend (like boo-hoo cried - thank you, Esther for your shoulder), and then showered. After which, I came to my room and this was on my desk. Thank you, M + E.

1 Peter 2:25 —“For you were like sheep being led astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

(can also be translated as: Guardian) — my soul has a Guardian, wow!

Things have not been easy, and there’s been a lot going on, but in spite of all of this, Jesus has still been calling and beckoning me. He has still been drawing me to Himself. Renewing my love for Him. I thought that Matthew 25 was solely my responsibility, but He is the One who comes to trim the wicks in Revelation 2-3 (in this case, to change my oil) to keep my love for Him, burning. At the end of a really long day, when I realize that I let go of His hand @ 11am, and now it’s 9:17pm, when I close my eyes and my head hits the pillow, I still hear His call, see His face, and He is still whispering to me that He didn’t let me go and He does not need me to be so strong or have everything together, but He just wants to do life together with me — everyday, and each moment in-between. His desire was never for me to do anything alone, and it’s the same with you.

—

as I was writing this, God reminded me of the prayer that I came into this new year with:

“My prayer so far this year has been, “Lord, have mercy on me that I would not be closed off to You. That You would have access to every part of my being, and so you could gain what You’re after in me,” and oh my Lord, may it be so.

When we live a life independent from the Lord, we actually rob Him the opportunity of being able to shepherd us where we are in a specific way. So, I’m still learning. Learning to be simple, to be open, to talk to Him about any and everything, and really just be His kid, and oh also to let myself be loved by Him. Like really loved. The more I see this, the more I’m realizing how simple it is to be loved and to be loved well.”

see more in my first email this year:⛓️‍💥: The Start of Something New

—

God reminded me of this prayer because He’s answering it. We never know how He will answer the things we ask of Him. So I’m learning to be open to my God, who does all things well. He is doing all things for us to see Him and love Him more. All things have been arranged by His sovereign nail-pierced hands, in love. He knows what He is doing in me and in you.

He dwells with His people below,

He loves in their trials to share;

(Hymn #904 — We Have A Most Glorious King, stanza 1)

Psalm 18:19 — “He brought me forth to a place broad and free; / He rescued me, for He took delight in me.”

(He does all things to bring us to this place. A place broad and free.)

Psalm 18:28 — For it is You who light my lamp; / Jehovah my God lights up my darkness;

Matthew 11:28-30 — “Come to Me all who toil and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Come to Him, there is rest. I’m still learning this, and hope you can too.

Song: ⛓️‍💥: I'm Desperate for You (UPPERROOM)

Please listen to this song linked above (from the timestamp: 42:00-52:00)

— my prayer:

Jesus, please show me Yourself again

Teach me to find You

To not be content until I do

Jesus, I am lost without You

I am desperate for You

Wake me up like You used to, to spend time with You

Keep drawing me, please don’t stop drawing me

Teach me to be beside myself with You, that I can be

Touch what You haven’t touched before

Keep going where You haven’t gone in me

I still give You access (read Allow Him)

The real me draws the real You

Gain the real and genuine me

Each and every day, Jesus, make me more aware of You

Life is too short to not give You all of me

Day by Day, Elona :)

I colored w/ Jesus today, on a bench.

I came back to campus this afternoon for my team check-in, and had 30 minutes until we had to leave again. I went to my car, and reached for my Bible because I thought it would be good to read, and then His quiet voice said, “what about the coloring book?”

So, I colored with my 36-pack of colored pencils (it was in my trunk) and ate my lunch. I set a 30 minute timer, sat on my new found favorite bench, and colored — and it was exactly what my soul needed.

“For you were like sheep being led astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:25)

“I am a rose of Sharon, / A lily of the valleys. As a lily among thorns, / So is my love among the daughters. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, / So is my beloved among the sons: In his shade I delighted and sat down, / And his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (Song of Songs 2:1-3)

And I hope for more times like these to slow down, and just be with Him, and let Him be with me. Be it coloring, listening to my favorite song, reading the Bible, sitting in the sun, resting (whatever that may look like), or anything else.

But today, I found the secret joy of a coloring book, again.

song: Slow Down -- UPPERROOM

I’ve made it a goal this term to write more — for you and also for me, so I have something to look back on :)

I want to start off by saying that the Lord is always going on and is always advancing, and we should be the same. He is new, forever new, even evergreen. And we should be no different.

I made it back to California for my second semester of Bible school! Over my break, I spent time with family, read some books, and went on a gospel trip for two weeks to Vancouver/Nanaimo/Victoria, Canada — it was my first time in Canada! Part of my program includes an opportunity to go on a gospel trip either to North America or Europe for the purpose of spreading the gospel, passing out Bibles, and spending time with local believers. We are usually in teams of 5-8 students from my school, and we prepare by spending lots of time in prayer and the word. During our trip, my team passed out almost 500 Bibles and gospel tracts on multiple college campuses, and we also prayed with many to receive Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. Yay, go Jesus!

Some pics:

Okay…things you should know about Canada/Canadians 🇨🇦:

1. $1 = a “looney” and $2 = “a “tooney”, and their money is plastic 🪙

2. They don’t have a Target, Trader Joe’s, or Chick-Fil-A💔

3. They call the candy “smarties”, “rockets”, and it looks like m&m’s…jump to-the-scare 🍬

4. They buy their milk in bags (not everywhere)🥛🛒

5. Tim Horton’s is Canada’s version of Dunkin’ Donuts 🍩 (get the farmer’s wrap w/ egg and sausage and a london fog)

6. There was a war on ice cream, but I solved it — try Rain or Shine and Earnest! 🍦

   

   ---

One song that kept coming to mind over and over and over again on this trip was hymn #904: We Have A Most Glorious King (stanza 3):

I dwell with the King for His work,

I’ve part in His glorious plan

To bring in His kingdom to earth

And tell His salvation to man.

The world has its work and rewards,

I count them but folly and loss;

My business is only His work,

My message is only His cross.

All else is folly and loss. All that matters is our being attracted, and as a result, our giving ourselves to Him — Hebrews 12:1-3

It really is a privilege untold that we could give ourselves to know this One. That we, like Mary, could waste all that we have, are, and could ever be on Him, at this moment in time (read Matthew 26:6-13, Esther 4:14, Luke 19:31, and Philippians 3:8-10). This is the highest profession.

I realized on this trip, that we actually have good news to announce. Good news to announce to a world that is dying, hopeless, and without Jesus (Romans 10:15). It is a joy to co-labor with our King for His work.

These two weeks were filled with lots of opening and outpouring in my times with Jesus. Telling Him what was hard, what I loved, and what I questioned. Also, lots of giving up and consecrating my life, all that I have, and am to Him again and again, and again.

Parts of my winter break (also referred to as interim) were VERY difficult. Being somewhere I’d never been before, with people I was still getting to know, and lots of cultural differences was hard. Family was hard. Doubting the Lord and my own decision making was also hard.

I called a friend, and they told me, “I get it, it’s hard. But have you ever thought how long it took the Lord to arrange such an environment and situation for you?”, and that’s when it hit me. In every situation and environment that we find ourselves in, the Lord gives us many opportunities to talk to Him, spend time with Him, get to know Him a little bit more, and to simply to look away, and see Him. It’s really not necessarily about the specific circumstances, but He uses all things, all matters, and all people to touch something deep down within us that He hasn’t had access to yet. Many nights and moments were spent crying, making calls, journaling, not talking to the Lord, wandering in my mind, etc. — but I realized that after all of that, after I tried to figure it all out on my own and still came to naught, God was always there, patiently waiting for me to just cry on His shoulder. It’s almost as if He is hiding in all these things, waiting to be noticed by us.

My prayer so far this year has been, “Lord, have mercy on me that I would not be closed off to You. That You would have access to every part of my being, and so you could gain what You’re after in me,” and oh my Lord, may it be so.

When we live a life independent from the Lord, we actually rob Him the opportunity of being able to shepherd us where we are in a specific way. So, I’m still learning. Learning to be simple, to be open, to talk to Him about any and everything, and really just be His kid, and oh also to let myself be loved by Him. Like really loved. The more I see this, the more I’m realizing how simple it is to be loved and to be loved well.

I’m looking forward to this new semester to meet all the new incoming students, learning and experiencing more, but most of all, to really really really fall more head over heels in love with my Jesus — to be undone, to frolic, to linger with Him — to know Him (Philippians 3:10).

Really, our Christian life in every stage and at every age, can and should be one of being drawn, captured, and captivated by Him day by day and moment by moment.

“Looking away unto Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down on the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2) Recovery Version

A footnote/commentary on this verse says, “The wonderful Jesus, who is enthroned in heaven, and crowned with glory and honor, is the greatest attraction in the universe. He is like an immense magnet, drawing all His seekers to Him. It is by being attracted by His charming beauty that we look away, from all things other than Him. Without such a charming object, how could we look away from so many distracting things on this earth?”

He does all things to attract us. Today, give yourself to be attracted. May everyday be another sloppy wet kiss, attracting day from His heart to yours, and yours to His. All love requires a response. So, we can respond to His love just by telling Him that we love Him. May we be those who pay the price, and respond to His attraction. May we have an ever-so increasing attraction to Him. Lord, here we are. We respond to Your love, with our love. We love You, Jesus.

day by day, an attracted one <3

we are finishing up week 10/20 (halfway🏎️💨!), and there has been a lot of things going on and happening, learnings, lots of ups and downs (literally within the same day), burdens, attractions, loss of attractions, hope, and the loss of it — but honestly all of this only has one purpose: which is just to bring me back to a Person.

honesty alert — my time here has been rough figuring out the ins and outs of where, how, and if to fit, making new friends, being around people 25/8, being open and vulnerable when you’re the only one doing it, being real and genuine and authentic, digesting so much truth at such an intense rate, making time for myself, trying to take care of family and those close to me who aren’t supportive of my decision to be here, finding God again, and — figuring out how to linger with Him.

it has been a fight to see Him through and above my feelings, situations, and desires.

my learning: this may sound really simple, but God uses everything — the people you like and do not like, loving your team or wishing you were on another, having people to talk to or not, looking for those who can understand you in deep ways, having rules to follow, breaking the rules, etc — to name a few — in all these things, God is there and is waiting to be noticed and invited (Revelation 3:20).

in short, for us to see God, He has to move things out of the way — whatever is hindering our view. He moves things so we can see Him. see Him rightly. i’m fighting to see Him like Moses did — face to face (Exodus 33:11), to know Him how Abraham did — as a Friend (James 2:23), live a life like Abraham — a life of the altar and the tent (Genesis 12:8), and to have a life like Enoch — a life that was well-pleasing to God (Hebrews 11:5). i want to know Him as a friend, a lover, a mother, father, a sister, a brother, and all the things — because He wants to be everything to us.

i want to know Him in this way because i’m learning that He is the only One who can be all these things to me in the way that my soul needs.

i’ve been enjoying this hymn #206 (it’s really sweet in Spanish too)

(English + Spanish)

O Christ, He is the fountain, / Oh, Cristo es la fuente,
The deep, sweet well of life: / El dulce manantial,
Its living streams I’ve tasted / Sus aguas vivas pruebo
Which save from grief and strife. / Que salvan del pesar.
And to an ocean fulness, / Es Su misericordia
His mercy doth expand; / Tan ancha como͜ el mar,
His grace is all-sufficient / Su gracia͜ es suficiente,
As by His wisdom planned. / Según Su sabio plan.

week 1:

this was supposedly the most strenuous week of Bible school, that is basically bootcamp, we have about 5-7 classes a day, and your whole day is planned out…but me writing this is proof that I survived! the purpose of this week is really to re-center us on Jesus, and water us with the truth.

here’s a few things that made my first week a little more bearable!

week 2:

in this program, we can select our top choices for where you want to serve (on a college campus, with the young people (yp)/church youth, or in the local community). You select your top 2 choices, and when you get here you find out where you are placed…

my sister goes to college at USC, so i’m happy that i’ll get to see her and spend time with her on campus and see her friends ( & also preach the gospel there too yay :)) )

pictures from week 3-9:

prayer burdens:

• please pray for me to be able to come back for another semester in the spring, and that the time God wants me to be here would not be cut short, but would be what and the length He desires.

• pray for my family (anything that is in your heart to pray).

• time with my sister! please pray that God would: 1) release some time for us to be together, and 2) that God would help me to be so human and normal with her, and that she would see more of God’s heart for her.

• Christ would do everything possible to make more of His home in my heart, and He wouldn’t wait, but would gain my love now.

p.s. i want this space to be more of my digital journal, so i’ll try to share more bites with you much sooner than last time. talk soon!

in the meantime,
elona :)

it’s titled in the meantime!

I just want to start off by saying that I’m really happy you’re here.
*insert smooch here - 1 Peter 5:14*💋 :D
Thank you for being a part of my journey, and now, opting to stay on for the ride.
*there’s no getting off now, so buckle up*💺

I’m currently writing this on Monday, 09/01/2025, but this email update is from the first week of August (and a little bit before).

If you didn’t know, I recently graduated from Arizona State University (ASU) with my degree in Computer Science (after a period of working, serving with my church, and taking some time of off school)! Praise the living Jesus.

I spent my summer traveling! I was in New York, NY (for a retreat for a lot of Christian campus serving ones/staff/full-timers in North America), Knoxville, TN (just visiting friends), Austin, TX (serving with campus outreach), Anaheim, CA (attended a church conference on experiencing, enjoying, and expressing Christ…woah), Athens/Atlanta, GA (Christian conference with 100 college students!! && visiting more friends), and Bozeman, MT (for my friend’s wedding)! ‘Twas a very busy summer!

*I also had a grad party during Memorial Day at my parents’ house with over 50 friends…toooo sweet of a time - thank you guys for coming and meeting my parents. It was a real kiss, and meant so much to me.

*if you live in Athens, GA - please go to Andy’s Frozen Custard and get the “Bulldog Concrete”…oh, and tell them I sent you🍒🍫🍦!

So, what is Elona up to next? I have decided to go to a two-year Bible School in Anaheim, California. I’ve wanted to go to Bible school for a number of years (actually even before going to college), but I believe now is the time, and now, the way is open and I want to seize the opportunity. My plan is to take it all term by term (or semester by semester) to see if the Lord would want me to stay for the entire time or not, and figure out where He’ll lead me next, but my goal for right now is to be where my feet are and gain as much as I can - with where I am, what I’m learning, and spending as much time with Jesus as possible. Nothing is more important than walking with the Lord step by step - not even, but in-step - where His steps are yours and yours are His.

There are multiple ways to serve while I’m there - this may look like but is not limited to - serving on with a Christian club on a college campus (in the SoCal area), serving with my church’s youth, preaching the gospel in the communities, gospel trips (maybe a little similar to mission trips, but with the view to share the gospel or evangelic outreach instead of doing something), audio/video/social media services, and much more. The goal of this school is not to have a head full of Bible knowledge (1 Corinthians 13:2), but in my own words, is to be so filled with Jesus to the extent that He so effortlessly lives out of me (Galatians 2:20). My heart’s desire has always been to have a life that is really useful to God, and I believe that giving Him this time of my life is vital, crucial, and essential.

Some may think that this is a waste or not necessary because I’m in my mid 20’s and this is the time that I should be using to further develop myself, get a master’s degree, get married and start a family, make money, trav-

Trust me, I’ve heard it all, and my response would be Luke 19:31 (read vv. 28-40 for the full context).

"And if anyone asks you, Why are you untying it? thus shall you say, Because the Lord has need of it." (Luke 19:31)

I’m delighted to have something of value that the Lord needs.

I can talk more about this later, but I’m really excited to go, and most importantly, I believe Jesus is leading me there.

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;" (John 10:27)

My plan for these emails is to contain more than just Bible school, but all the life changes/adjustments, hard times, good times, prayer requests, photos, videos (I think a vlog would be cool, so stay tuned), what I’m learning, team photos, food, new adventures and reads, songs, travels, my favorite memes, love and relationships, and most importantly, all things Jesus. He’s the fabric of my being, so He’s always woven in there🧶.

Prayer Requests: Please pray for me, my time there, and my family back home.

Here’s a few photos from my last week in Arizona before moving (feat. some who are in my heart) <3

Anywho! Talk very soon!🤸🏾‍♀️

Song: In the Meantime - Jess Ray

(p.s. I’m still learning how Substack works, but I think you can comment on here (below) too. But please feel free to call me or text or email me or mail me something at anytime!)

p.p.s. - i really love getting things in the mail (especially handwritten letters)

in the meantime,
elona :)